Do Some Radical Self-Care for the Holidays!

audrelordeselfcare

The end of the first semester has arrived, and the winter holidays are either in progress or fast approaching! This festive time of year can also be a rather “stress-tive” moment in our lives. There is a lot of professional and academic pressure at the end of the fall semester–grades to enter, finals, projects and papers due, data to analyze, goals to set for the spring.  There’s social pressure too…gifts to buy, meals to cook, events to juggle, parties to attend, family gatherings. Just those “regular” stressors are enough to often cause exhaustion and burn-out. And for some folks, additional factors like Seasonal Depressive Disorder, grief, anxiety, and loneliness can create a particularly strong cocktail of holiday-associated negative feelings and depression. Though we hope that feelings of love and happiness permeate the holiday season, it’s important to remember that all kinds of complex feelings brought up at this time of year are valid and real.

Therefore, it’s critically important that we take care of ourselves, regardless of our personal, social, academic, or professional status.  Ever seen this on an airplane safety card?

oxygen-mask

If the adult doesn’t put the oxygen mask on first, then they might pass out and be unable to help anyone else.  It’s a beautiful example of how taking care of ourselves is a crucial piece of being able to take care of others in our lives. Almost every relationship has an aspect of care-taking, even the ones outside the usual associated with direct care-taking, like teaching or parenting.  People in our lives often need us to show up in different ways, and if we don’t have enough self-care oxygen, it’s hard to do that. So put your own oxygen mask on!  Here are some ways to do it!

THIRTY SECONDS TO THREE MINUTES

Take three deep, intentional, cleansing breaths. Take three more. Notice how the air moves through your nose and lungs. The breath is always there, and coming back to the breath is one of the most basic, essential self-care activities that is always available.

breathe

Notice feelings that are behind a stressed out, upset state of mind. Remember HALT–am I Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? A combination? Take a moment to observe the feelings coloring the present experience. Where do I feel them in my body? How do I know I’m feeling __________? Even say them out loud: Wow, I’m really angry right now. I’m feeling sad and frustrated right now. As Dr. Dan Siegel says, name it to tame it! (Check out his website for LOTS of ideas for self-care!)

Stretch! When was the last time you moved your body? Stand up, reach for the sky, do some gentle forward bends, roll shoulders, massage out the neck.

Kristin Neff, that perpetual champion of self-compassion, suggests that we mammals are programmed to respond positively to nurturing touch. So clasp the hands together warmly, gently squeeze opposite upper arms, hug the knees to the chest sitting down or lying on the back. Get that mammalian comfort!

otterscuddle

10-15 MINUTES

Take a walk, outside, no electronics. Notice all the sensory input–smells, sounds, physical sensations that come from being here now, outside. Keep breathing.

Take a warm shower!

Call someone who is a positive influence in your life, and express gratitude for them or for anything. Gratitude creates positive feelings.

Eat a mindful snack or meal. Do nothing but eat something delicious, slowly and intentionally. How does it smell? How does it look? What does it feel like in your mouth, between your teeth, on your tongue, as you swallow? How slowly can you eat each bite?

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30-60 minutes and beyond…

Exercise! Yup. A brisk walk. A yoga class. A jog. A work-out video. Dancing. Moving the body in an intentional, nurturing, even vigorous (as possible and desired) way has been shown over and over to create and increase positive feelings in the brain.

Schedule something you’ve been meaning to do for your body–a massage, or a physical, or a dentist appointment.  Our brains are part of our physical body, and so taking care of our body is taking care of our brain.

Try out a new – or revisit a favorite – creative activity, especially one that engages the hands. Knitting or playing an instrument, working with clay or play doh, painting, drawing, coloring, writing by hand–all of these and many others can help integrate the physical self and the brain, and create positive feelings. Art Works! Creativity is for everybody!

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There are many resources for self care out there, almost as many as reasons to find your favorite self-care activities and start doing them right away.  Take sweet care this holiday season, and keep your oxygen mask on…#SELfcare for the win! See you in 2017!

 

 

 

 

Celebrate Good Times…Come On!

Hello SEL Fans!  Happy Diwali y’all!

diwali-diyas-diyas_

Diwali is a huge and ancient Hindu celebration of light, prosperity, and renewal.  It’s observed for 5 whole days of parties, fireworks, food and revelry. And what a coincidence…this week’s bloffering is all about SELebration!

See what I did there?  Okay, full disclosure: This post will be about celebration in general, not just with regard to Diwali (although what a great celebration!) or to AISD Social and Emotional Learning (which is a lot to celebrate as well!). Celebration is a crucial aspect of social and emotional well-being, and we highly recommend you partake in celebration as soon as possible.  Why? Read/listen to this!

Two Guys on Your Head: Celebration

According to the Two Guys from NPR (and also Austin Texas, baby!), celebrating accomplishments both major and minor activate the pleasure center of our brain.  This pleasure center also happens to play a big role in motivation.  It makes sense, right?  If your brain is working on something, and it gets a little shot of those delightful brain-chemical pleasure makers dopamine and endorphins (among others!), it is likely to want to keep on keepin’ on.

happy-chemicals

As the article/broadcast mentions, humans have the great ability to set long-term goals, but we have a hard time actually doing them unless we plan short-term steps to reach the long-term goals.  If I feel like I have a long and arduous road ahead, I’m less likely to see it through to the end, or even get started.  But if I set short term goals to reach my ultimate goal, and I also plan to celebrate my little steps along the way, I am much more likely to get it done!

Confetti

Celebration also helps us to increase our level of gratitude, and “perpetuates the positive,” as the article states.  So create your next celebration right now!  Used the stairs instead of the elevator a couple times this week? Treat those feet to a pedicure!  Get your blog post published on time for your job? Go on a picnic! (bwahaha) But truly, whatever little celebration you can fit into your life, give yourself permission to have it and enjoy it. It’s good for your brain and it’s good for the world.

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To Sleep…Perchance to Dream

Hello there, SEL fans!  I’m your friendly new blogger, Katie Cameroneil.  I became part of AISD’s Social and Emotional Learning team this past July, and boy am I glad to be here!  I’ll be posting weekly, usually on Fridays, and I’ll be keeping my eyes out for the most interesting, useful, smart and tasty tidbits the world has to offer related to Social and Emotional Learning.  I give you my first blog offering (bloffering?)…I hope you find it dreamy.

We talk a lot in SEL about the amygdala.  The amygdala is our primal brain, and the center of strong emotions and self-preservation.  When we are really angry or afraid, or so happy we get choked up, our amygdala is firing all over the place.

Luckily, when we’re awake and doing day-to-day things, we have our frontal cortex—our rational, logical brain—to keep us from doing anything crazy!  We may have really strong feelings sometimes, but we generally don’t hurl ourselves on the

floor screaming, or attempt to fly, or run howling through the streets.   Good thing we have our frontal cortex to keep society (mostly) civilized!

That’s when we’re awake…but what about when we’re asleep?

Excuse me…Your Amygdala is Showing

Research shows that the amygdala is highly active when we’re dreaming, while the frontal cortex is basically turned off  (Nir & Tononi, 2010).  The amygdala can run wild with feelings and emotions, with no interference from the logical cortex (Big Think Editors, 2014)!   This is why dreams can seem so vivid, colorful, intense and even really scary (Big Think Editors, 2014).  Dreams can even stick with us, the emotional experiences coloring our day.   The amygdala is a powerful influence in our brain, and unchecked, it can come up with some pretty wild scenarios.  Often the activity from the amygdala during dreaming radiates into other parts of the brain, including the frontal cortex, which could explain why dreams sometimes seem to have a linear or logical story structure (Nir & Tononi, 2010).  But, for the most part, dreaming is the amygdala’s time to shine!

Luckily, our brains are also usually equipped with mechanisms that prevent our physical bodies from acting out the events of our dreams.  So, dreams are very complex brain functions (Cromie, 1996).  Why do we have them?  Why do we appear to need sleep and dreams?  Guess what—scientists don’t know yet (Nir & Tononi, 2010).  All they really know is, good sleep appears to be vital to having a high quality of life, and that extreme sleep deprivation can be fatal (Cromie, 1996).  So what could this mean?

Dream On!

Could it be that sleeping gives the frontal cortex a time to rest and rejuvenate, at the same time allowing the amygdala to get some unfettered free time to explore feelings and fears (Big Think Editors, 2014)?  Neuroscientists have also shown that tell-tale signs of learning occur in the brain during sleep and dreaming (Nir & Tononi, 2010), perhaps demonstrating that the wandering amygdala can present scenarios to our brains, however crazy, that help us become more functional humans during our waking hours (Cromie, 1996).  Could dreams allow us to deepen our empathy and perspective-taking skills?  The latest sleep and brain research is seeking the answers to these questions.

In conclusion, thank your amygdala for creating our dreams, and thank your brain for being such an amazing tool.  And next time you have a dream, keep in mind that it has possibly enhanced and enriched your brain’s experience.   Even though they are ‘just dreams,’ they affect the brain in a very real way.  So sleep well, and keep on dreaming!  Happy weekend!

Works Cited

Big Think Editors. (2014, October 14). Big Think. Retrieved October 17, 2014, from This is Your Brain on Dreams, with Michio Kaku: http://bigthink.com/think-tank/this-is-your-brain-on-dreams-with-michio-kaku

Cromie, W. J. (1996, February 8). Research Links Sleep, Dreams and Learning. Retrieved 10 17, 2014, from The Harvard University Gazette: http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/1996/02.08/ResearchLinksSl.html

Nir, Y., & Tononi, G. (2010, January 10). Dreaming and the brain: from phenomenology to neurophysiology. Retrieved 10 17, 2014, from National Institute of Health Public Access Author Manuscript: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2814941/

Compassionate Educator- Feeling Vocabulary

Non Violent Communication (NVC)  is a way to communicating that helps you “resolve conflicts with more ease, learn to ask for what you want without using demands, begin to hear the true needs of others with less effort, and strengthen your personal and professional relationships.” (http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/aboutnvc/aboutnvc.htm)

This style of communicating can have a large impact on schools. The compassionate educator series shares resources from NVC that can be used in educational settings as well as life in general.

This week we are thinking about how to build feelings vocabulary. A wide-ranging feelings vocabulary provides deeper self-connection and an enhanced ability to express yourself to others. These skills can strengthen compassion in any learning environment. Help your students enhance their feelings vocabulary.

Feelings poster

With your students, make a list of feeling words, and try adding a new word a day for as many days as you can. Put your feelings vocabulary in a prominent place in your classroom. Each time students feel an emotion that isn’t on the list, invite them to express it by saying it aloud or writing it on the board.

Share what you think! What is important about having a large feelings vocabulary? How do you build feelings vocabulary in your life?

Point Counter Point: Is Happiness a Worthwhile Goal?

One key concept that teachers teach when they talk about feelings and empathy is that there are no good or bad feelings, only comfortable and uncomfortable ones.  It’s natural though that most people prefer to feel the comfortable ones, such as happiness.  This brings us to our first debate question in our ongoing series “Point Counter Point:”

Is Happiness a worthwhile goal in and of itself?

To give you some background, This Emotional Life on PBS gives us thoughts on What is Happiness?

Now, for Point Counter Point….

Point: There’s More to Life Than Being Happy posted in The Atlantic on January 9, 2013

Counter Point: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: Flow, the secret to happiness

Now it’s your turn.  What do you think? Is there more to life than being happy? Is happiness a goal you have for your own life?